It’s all about be realistic folks… In a world were I can cast spells and defeat dragons and spin people on horses. The trolls should be able to have the penises too… It’s about realism…
Also this comic proves why women are fearless… no dick envy…
Did you ever want to feel like you’re on the decks of the Enterprise? OF COURSE YOU FUCKING DO!
Oh… and folks… keep your computer’s OS and it’s anti-virus/malware up to date. PLEASE. Save yourself the trouble.
Fair warning, tomorrow’s comic will be dark…
showing a penis in a mAture******
mature what?
I’m not sure as to which panel I should pleasure myself to.
Panel 2 is for hardcore gamers.
panel 3 is for the casual.
panel 4 is for the freaky deakies
panel 1 is for pure love
Didn’t wank to panel 2? You don’t know SHIT about videogames.
I’m told that they did it in Dante’s Inferno…
nice… a game after my heart…
yeah satan had a massive horse wang that flopped around while you fought him.
Thank you for reminding me of something I had purposely forgotten…
“By Nine Divines!”, I have never seen such a magnificent way to vocalize complete and UTTER horror of impending doom.
It’s an elder scrolls reference… glad you enjoyed it.
watch out for those pesky elfs they only recognize 8
I might just listen to the entirety of that video.
But as penises in video games, they’re there, they’re just hanging out in Saints Row III. In the character customization there’s a “Sex Appeal” setting which controls the size of a male characters groin (boobs on a female character, I was hoping for the butt too, but oh well) although once you take the underwear off it’s all censored. But they make up for that with the Penetrator, which is a giant purple dildo that you wield like a baseball bat, it even has a bat handle. Here are some visual aids.
http://gamingirresponsibly.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/saints-row-the-third-dildo-bat.jpg
http://beefjack.com/files/2011/11/saints-row-the-third-penetrator-head.jpg
http://fuckedupgames.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/83cc6ade1a-saints-row-t69722.jpg
And here is the Japanese games version
http://media1.gameinformer.com/imagefeed/featured/thq/saintsrow/thethirdoverflow/saintsrow3bat.jpg.jpeg
Japan has a law that allows the showing of breasts and such, but not genitalia (or something to that effect), so is essentially just a tube or ‘torpedo’ if you will.
The More You Know!
A+ sir, excellent article and well researched!
Why thank you sir. I own the game, and to not tell you of the penises that await inside wouldn’t be right.
…Hmm, I wonder if I can turn that A+ in for grade assistance of some sort. It’s Finals Week, and I need all the help I can get.
Japan has always baffled me in that respect.
It’s not so much a law in Japan, more the fact the majority of people do not want to see a penis/vagina when playing games.
I wouldn’t be far off saying Japan is one of if not the most sex deprived country in the world and use sex/gender to sell or promote pretty much anything.
In saying that, from games to manga to TV, Japanese censorship is a fucking joke. There is a used manga store near where I live with dozens of porn that kids can just go in and look at, it isn’t wrapped at all.
Convenience stores have a special porn section right near the front of the store that anyone of all ages can look at, but just not buy unless you are over 18, etc.
You can rent adult movies in hotels regardless of your age, etc.
As for the actual censoring, a thin black line over the clitoris or the shaft of the penis is how Japan censors the majority of stuff, but a penis can easily be seen as a penis unless you have no idea what a penis looks like.
Lastly, mosaic is usually only used in visual novels or real-life porn however which obviously makes things much harder to see.
The more more you know!
Penis count: 4
Oh yeah I don’t even know why they bother it’s all a joke.
If I recall correctly, there was a year, I think it was ’05 or ’06, when a census reported that japan had a much higher mortality rate (due to suicides I think) than their birth rate. I remember because some of my friends kept making jokes about it in relation to how censored Japanese porn is and the ritual suicide culture they had in the past.
Just sharing I guess… PS3’s patching…
Suicides have dropped a lot since then for sure, but the problem now is that there are more old people that won’t die (because Japanese healthcare is actually pretty good – for Japanese people) than there are babies being born. Childcare is extremely cheap an the government gives new families tons of money to raise to help raise a child as an incentive to pump babies out.
This is not a problem for Japan alone. It’s actually not uncommon for countries to offer families money to have children this day and age. I live in Ontario, and receive a LOT of ‘Tax benefits’ for having a child under 18. Our birth rate hit an all-time low in 2002, so they have been working on adding more and more benefits to make citizens more comfortable with the idea of having the ideal 2.5 children per household.
There was a time in Quebec where the birthrate was so low, they would give you $500 for your first child, $1000 for your second, and $6,000 for your third child. That was in the early 90s.
I approve this message.
PLUS GIRLFRIEND
panel 3 girl is not girlfriend…
Dick Physics
Don’t you just love the sound of that?
i do…
Intimidate – maybe. Mesmerize – definitely. Like a swinging pendulum.
They went the big penis route for the devil’s final form during the final boss fight in Dante’s Inferno on the xbox. Was pretty distracting trying to duck the thing!
Well that would certainly add a twist to skyrim…
I was a dovahkiin too once… but then I took an arrow to the DICK.
wooow i suppose skeever tail would have new meaning
As someone who swings both ways, I have always taken issue with the fact that sexuality in games is so very unbalanced. I’ve always been one to assume that for straight guys, it’s just what’s wanted, so it’s always been halfway justified, but on the other end gay characters wind up having so much attention put into them and they stand out so much in the games they *do* exist in that it’s a wonder more people don’t like them just from a narrative POV or from a roleplaying POV.
Games like ‘The Temple of Elemental Evil’, Valkyria Chronicles come to mind offhand (The not-over-the-top-and-well-written Gay Pirate (Yes, Butt-Pirate, haha, ugh) in the former and 4-5 characters in the latter (Jann is awesome~)). With the fact that women are gaming more and more, I would expect there to be more eye-candy for them, perhaps including similar sexual stim in the form of well-endowed guys or well-written sexual advances. I wouldn’t be at all bothered by a console that had a setting for my preference in sexuality so games could show me what I like without explicitly offending others (Ya know, I can appreciate that straight guys might not like the aesthetic of cocks, because I, for example, despise cars and most guns.)
Alternatively, perhaps a balanced view on sexuality in gaming itself might lead to a balanced view on sexuality in gaming culture…
Troll cock would make for an awesome bit of difference… perhaps Giants wouldn’t even need those clubs!
Pulling a university all nighter to complete two essays due two days ago. Very grateful for comics that post right at midnight. But more importantly.
The combination of the clicking sound of of a keyboard and the the U.S.S. Enterprise idling has made my task feel so much more epic.
Well, breasts aren’t a part of the reproductive process. I think that’s why they are considered less “vulgar”. Personally, I think it should be all or nothing, but I myself would pick nothing, since I don’t play games for sexual content. I find it unnecessary, but I mean, it depends on the game too. For some genres, it’s just not needed when it doesn’t really add anything other than boobs. And if that’s what you want, there are more adult games. It just seems like there’s few instances where it would make much sense for adult content to be a needed part of the game. If there were an adult video game with a good romantic plot, I might be interested, but I’d want everything or nothing to be censored. The idea of this middle ground is just silly.
Requiem Bloodymare did that. Koonts would come running at you all dangling and whatnot. I can think of no other titles where that happened, and the Requiem lore was such that the mobs didn’t really need to be capable of reproduction anyway.
The Black-Spear mobs had an orifice that most likely was once the female sex organ. Maybe it still is, hard to say. What with the mandibles and all it was certainly pretty intimidating.
That’s ARG for ya. Not afraid to broach today’s Taboo Topics. And, I think someone should start working on the “Phallus Flopper Engine” for the Dick Physics.
Well i would cry because the cave troll might be horny. i would run away so fast as i could..
Luckily I don’t have to worry about that stuff with Archlinux xD
I think if monsters had giant wangs on video games, it’d allow for more “interesting” and quite entertaining death sequences :3
Well, strictly speaking if you’re going for realism it’s not like you see a lot of male genitalia in real life… Compared to breasts.
Nice, nothing like a big ol’ monster blue veiner!
Cheers!
Ever fight Satan in dantes inferno now that’s intimidating
I saw this comic and just HAD to respond with this…
http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloads/file.php?id=3684
Enjoy your intimidation. :3
yeah I’ve seen It I actually found it two day’s after I posted this comic.
Bah, another piece of armor to buy. We shall journey to find the Daedric artifact version.
I think there are penises in Amnesia. Haven’t played it, but seen quite a lot of it. But yeah, more game penises.
I turn on the Warp drive idle sound all the time. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. My wife thinks the AC is breaking down and is about to be a problem.
I guess it´s just that most game designers are men.
And they want to design boobs, not dicks. :I
Then the ladies would take over the video games.