- If they don’t know the difference between Capt. Picard and Capt. Kirk, Don’t fuck them.
- If they don’t have the dvd boxset of Battlestar Galactica, Don’t fuck them!
- If they don’t care about who shot first, don’t fuck them.
- If they can’t recite Pi to even the 3rd digit, don’t fuck them.
- If they they don’t know the difference between a Phaser and a lightsaber, don’t fuck them.
- If they think a parsec is a measure of time, don’t fuck them.
We could go on all day like this… but I wanna hear yours. AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION MOTHER FUCKERS!!! Post your own in the comments or post it to to my twitter at @IamARG . Let’s hear your conditions for nerdom to warrant a good lay.
I’ll post my favourites and who they are attributed to on monday’s blog post..
And because my milkshake brings all the boys…
My eyes. They are scarred forever.
Good philosophy, though.
you’re welcome…
If they can’t spell “parsec” right, don’t fuck them.
what you talking about… I spell all things right…
Are you sure? According to the signature on todays comic it looks like you forgot how to spell your own name 😛
Heh, so it is… That’ll happen when you’re running a fever.
Huh. Quite the twist on Galactica not getting me laid.
See if we just follow this, you’d be getting laid…
Damn it Arg! I’m a Whovian not a Fraker!
ah… see I’m the opposite. I want to check out doctor who. how about this. I don’t get laid till I watch doctor who.
Hmm. This is acceptable. Thrown in some original Star Trek while you’re at it. Or did you understand my reference? Muhaha.
Oh I got it, bonesy….. clever 3 way scifi reference *High Five*
Indeed.
*High Five*
So…how about “If you don’t know what a TARDIS is, you’re not getting laid.” or “If you don’t have seasons 1-5 of Doctor Who you aren’t getting laid.” or “If you’re not a crazy madman with a box OR a bitey mad lady, you’re not getting laid.” or…”If you can’t name at least 3 actors of the Doctor’s 11 regenerations you’re not getting laid. *bonus points if you name older reincarnations or ALL!*” or “If you can’t name at least 5 of the Doctor’s companions (either by companion or actor/actress name), you’re not getting laid.”(…This is starting to feel like a Leno list. D=)
~.~ I’m a Whovian, myself. <3
I feel that all people are Whovians. Yet not all have the catalyst to activate their inner Whovian. Like the Immortals from Highlander.
You just reminded me. I want to watch the Highlander series from the beginning. =D Thanks! It was in my head, but I got distracted.
Also…I think you might be right, but that probably sounds pompous as a Whovian. You just have to find the right season/series you connect to. I would catch a few episodes here and there of DW during 10th’s Rose and Martha seasons, but it wasn’t until Donna Noble came around that I was addicted. I can easily see how the people that have been watching since Tom Baker or Jon Pertwee can feel a bit possessive of the series. I’ve been trying to see what I can on Netflix, but not much is available for instant stream. Also, I find the special effects in Pertwee’s and Baker’s reigns a bit distracting, but I appreciate it for the experimental era that it was, considering it was a period of technological advances.
D’ya mean the actors names for the Doctors? ‘Cause I call one of ’em “Scarfy Doctor” and another “Riddler Doctor”
I don’t own, nor have I ever seen, Battlestar Galactica! I’m sad now :'(
it’s cool… you have the ability to correct it lol.
If they think a white dwarf is just a really pale white guy, don’t fuck them.
Also, you are a mad sexy beast in that last panel.
So, sooo true… if only, man… if only…
See we need this to be in action…
If they can’t nergasm, definitely DO NOT fuck them
If they don’t have a single graphic novel, don’t fuck them
If they can’t tell between Samus and Master Chief, don’t fuck them
If they think Zelda is the boy with the shield and sword, don’t fuck them
If they don’t know Samus is a girl, furiously masturbate to images of Samus instead of fucking them
Oh, and of course…
If they don’t read IAmArg, don’t fuck them!
Is the Samus/Master Chief reference a Halo reference? (If so, it’s understandable that I wouldn’t get it. Playing Halo gives me motion sickness or something, so I can’t really “play”.). Also, I kind of agree with the graphic novel, but…I don’t? I have mangas, but I never really had an actual “graphic novel” until I got a Doctor Who one.
Yea it’s a Halo reference. Damn that sucks, they’re good games. There are better ones, of course. And if you want there are books for the storyline I believe
Lol, there are tons of books for a lot of games these days. I don’t know why, but I’d just as soon read kinky sex books starring Arg than those. When a game turns to books, it just seems too commercial. When I turn to books instead of a game, all the fantasy/fun comes out of it. Not that I don’t like reading, I just…it’s like having seen the Harry Potter series AFTER reading it. You have these expectations of how it should come across and it usually falls flat on it’s face 50 yards short of it’s goal. After the 2nd or 3rd HP movie, they all just…weren’t up to par with my expectations. I have damn high expectations when it comes to my entertainment.
if they cant tell the difference between digimon and pokemon, dont fuck them.
if they cant say pokemon right. dont fuck them.
You sir are a visionary!
Oh that’s a good one.
Does it bother you Arg that I now carry that last panel in my wallet?
It’s cool, I’ve already got people that have “taken care of themselves over previous comics with me in drag”.
I haven’t taken care of myself… yet…
well what the hell are you waiting for I posted a better version in the blog post…
http://www.eyebleach.com
You are welcome.
Psshhh, his image should be added to that site!
Your advertising is disturbed: http://i.imgur.com/C6JfO.png That poor, troubled face.
if they pronounce “manga” with the first syllable rhyming with “bang”…
Stole my comment.
Ooh good one!
Ooooo sooo true!!!
Well, I’m assexual, so this isn’t really applicable to me, but let’s see what I can come up with:
If the don’t know the Konami code…
If they don’t know what a D6 is…
If they think the cake is anything but a lie…
If they have never watched a Miyazaki film…
If they don’t know what the Wilhelm scream is…
If they don’t know what a Vocaloid is…
If they think Kanye West’s ‘Stronger’ is the original…
If they don’t know how to do a barrel roll…
If they don’t know where they’re taking the hobbits…
FYI, I can recite Pi to well over a hundred digits.
That Kanye one…those people should be punched and forced to listen to good music.
I think they deserve much worse than punches.
Modern day rappers and their stupid remakes AHHHRG *rages*
Also, knowing Japanese culture is a must! 😀
Absolutely.
isengard
If they think a Replicant is a copy shop….
If they think Hughie, Dewie and Lewie are ducks….
If they think Xenomorph is a Flu remedy….
If they can’t sing Jed’s song…
If they think Dr. Horrible is Austin powers’ bald twin….
If they Don’t LOVE Felicia Day…..
If they have NO action Figures….
If they don’t get any RSS….
Ok, well, TrueSushiboy made me a virgin already anywho…
Arg! baby.. That image is on my kindle already… I hope to god you shaved your legs.
Loving my interests tunring up in your comics friend.
I very much approve of the Felicia Day comment and yes TrueSushiboy made me a virgin by a lot.
If they don’t know the names of, at least, 151 pokémon, don’t fuck them.
Can we also enact the inverse of this: If they know at least 151 pokemon, definitely fuck them? Because it’s been a while since I’ve been laid.
Oh no, I’m never going to get laid again 🙁
no don’t worry you’re just gonna have to study at least 3 years. You might wanna do a master of 2 years after that to get laid on a regular base.
If they don’t play video games, don’t fuck ’em.
If they can’t tell the difference between an Otaku, and a Fujoshi, don’t fuck ’em.
If they don’t have appreciation for other cultures, don’t fuck ’em.
Oh the list could go on~
Sweet love of God, my eyes!
Thanks, man. Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to have nightmares about this for the rest of my life. Just fucking prefect.
I’ll support you in this endevor, but… please, just put it away. Please! Think of the children! *Points to the orphanage that like your comics, now running around with their eyes on fire*
I would say keep up the good work, but… oh god…
He is beautiful just the way he is!
Okay, first of all…
If they have a popped collar, super greased back hair, or a super fake tan, Do Not copulate with them.
But more in the vein of nerdy things,
If they don’t read more than (XKCD, Cyanide and Happiness) webcomics, don’t fuck them.
If they haven’t heard “H-to the usky Husky” at least ten times, don’t fuck them.
– If the don’t know how many games have the couple Biggs and Wedge, don’t fuck them.
– If they don’t know hot to pronounce Euller, don’t fuck them.
– If they think all Pokemon are named Pikachu, don’t fuck them.
– If they believe those “End of the world” conspiracies, don’t fuck them.
– If they don’t know Fry’s Dog, or don’t think it’s sad, don’t fuck them.
Or if they say they didn’t cry with it.
For now those are the only ones i could think.
See Ya
Shadow493
If they don’t know manga reads right to left DON’T FUCK ‘EM.
If they don’t know the difference between drawing and inking DON’T FUCK ‘EM.
If they think Scott Pilgrim came to America on the Mayflower DON’T FUCK ‘EM.
blew a fuse and got a brain hemorrhage at the same time and my sanity chip has melted
I remember when this comic was about spilling coffee D: my poor innocent eyes
“If they think a parsec is a measure of time, don’t fuck them.”
You’re playing a dangerous game with Star Wars fans here. Hell, I always thought that it was a unit of time until my astrophysics major friend set me straight. How would I know? Star Wars lied to me!
Got some more:
If they don’t know what TARDIS stands for…
If they think Monty Python is someone’s name…
If they don’t know the answer to life, the universe and everything…
If they don’t know the difference between Manga and Anime…
If they think an otaku and a weeaboo are the same thing…
If they think that the Thor from Marvel is accurate to Norse Mythology…
If you say “FAAAALCOOOON…” and they don’t know what comes next…
If they think a Jenova is a door-to-door christian…
If they don’t know who Buzz Aldrin is… (Seriously, that’s just sad.)
If they don’t know who Bill Watterson is…
If they think there’s no differences between Japan, China, and Korea…
If they can’t name more than 25 countries off the top of their head…
if they don’t know that you have to spell it FALCON PAAWWWNCH!!!…..
Do you really HAVE to?
Don’t fuck them if…
They don’t know who Joss Whedon is.
They think the Avatar is a blue cat person.
They think the original Star Wars movies need to keep being changed.
They think the Star Wars prequals are necessary.
They don’t care about Star Wars.
If they don’t know who Thrall is…
If they havn’t downed Rag at least once…
If they think that the Horde is the “bad” guys…
If they don’t own at least one mini…
If they don’t own they’re own set of dice
If they have never felt the worry of saving ends rolls
If they think blizzard is just a storm…
Thought I should represent Blizzard fanboys… and some DnD
how can you always make me laugh and want to stab my own eyes at the same time?
If they think sega genisis is a book in the bible, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT FUCK THEM.
oh my carl, guys… so many of these to sift through… Nicely done…
If they don’t know The Protomen.
And if they do,
If they don’t know what’s the reason behind the songs by The Protomen.
What if I watch Battlestar Galactica on Netflix? I can’t afford the boxed set right now. 😛
I was just listening to The Hounds off of act 2…
From The Protomen, youknow?
Don’t fuck them if…
They think ENTERPRISE was the best Star trek show ever….
They have no idea who Al Calavecci is…
If the listen to Nickelback instead of Five Iron Frenzy and Anamanaguchi…
If they don’t recognize call-backs…
If they see a picture of Crono and think he’s a guy from DBZ…
If they don’t get the reference “If all else fails, use fire”…
It stands to reason that they’d think Crono is from DBZ or any other form of it (Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT) considering Crono is made, and drawn, by Akira Toriyama. Akira being the guy who made DBZ.
If they don’t own at least 2 gaming consoles and 1 handheld console, don’t fuck them. Give them a little naughty extra if they own a classic console and loved Commodore 64 😉
John Waters, a modern wise man!
I need to watch me some Pink Flamingos!
If they don’t know the difference between an anime and a manga, don’t fuck them.
If they don’t know what a dalek is, and their catchphrase, don’t fuck them.
If they think Dr. Who is stupid, don’t fuck them
Yeah, you got three motherfucker!
If they don’t know what a Reaver is, don’t fuck them.
http://www.rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-03
You can’t take the skies from me. Ever.
if they don’t apreciate art
if they don’t know about manga in general (or anime)
if they don’t know the difference between drawing and inking
if they hate Stan Lee (or don’t know who he is, which is just as bad or worse)
if they don’t play video games
if they don’t apreciate other cultures
if they don’t have action figures
oh and so many others
If they don’t know why even whispering the word “Midichlorians” around SW fans can get them lynched…
If they don’t know of or have never heard the “Yub Yub Song”…
If they don’t feel that Jar Jar needs to die…
If they have never seen the Original Trilogy in it’s unaltered form…
If they don’t know what the T.I.E. in T.I.E. Fighter stands for…
If they think quoting Master Yoda is stupid/lame…
If they think quoting ANY SW character is stupid/lame…
If they have ever used the acronym “YOLO” where you can hear them…
Ok so I’ll leave the manga thing alone I guess, but Doctor Who? Christ on a bike, I give up on this fucking culture.