The true story was more like this.
I was managing a bowling alley before I went to college and one night an angry customer demanded everything to be free for a birthday party that went better than perfectly. If there was an issue with the pizza, then why did you eat every last slice and even ask me to order another one? The lanes were not sticky, as I had just cleaned out your area before your party came in. Basically she was trying to bilk the alley out of paying. She demanded to see the manager. So in a bit of smartass wit, I did a couple of quick spins on the spot, rested with my arms out like a gymnast and replied “Hi, I’m Andrew, I’m the manager. What seems to be your problem”. This pissed her off to no end and she left in a huff. She later phoned the owner of the lanes to complain. He asked me about the situation, I explained that she was trying to get out of paying for her party and that she was just making up excuses. Then I explained to him what exactly I did that caused her to leave. We high five’d and that was that.
Man, I’ve got a shit ton of bowling alley stories… I bet they’d make good comics… HMMMMMMmm?
You are awesome. That is all.
And thusly we get a butt faced woman 😛 I’ve only managed coffee shops but it’s always fun to mess with jerk customers.
I think if I were a manager somewhere and I got customers like that I’d bring an extra shirt to work so I could walk out of the room and come back in with the other shirt on and a different name tag.
Beware that Sailor’s moon.
Also, managerial magic, transforming a dick into a dick with authority.
Eep! STRETCHY FACE!! I mean, I love house as much as the next gal, but that link? *Shudders*
Gah! He went through with his challenge! I am the defeated. Also the sailor moon reference was a unseen touch.
Welp there goes one of the first animes I ever watched. I’ll be expecting something with DBZ in it soon Andrew.
sooo you have the ability to turn into Sailor Moon? Thats hawt.
Also your dick looks like an old Stretch Armstrong.
If that’s the case, it should be leaking an unidentifiable goo out of its sides.
That’s a lot nicer (and wittier) than how workers of the Kingdom Junction McDonald’s handle irate customers.
I have no reason to lie about this;
Two peeved female customers were screaming at a male worker behind the counter, which the two proceeded to bound over and assault him. In self defense he grabbed a handy pipe and bludgeoned them until they left.
I got my McChickens and got the Hell out.
My GOD this makes me wish I was the manager of somewhere so I could do this. I was working at a KFC and was the register guy. More times than I can count I was asked whether or not the order was right, because clearly I have time to take someones order, make it, give someone elses order to the person at the window, and input their order at the same time.
So she ended up paying right??
yeah we charged the credit card she left when she made the deposit.
I used to work night audit in hotels, oddly enough you get people like that who throw around the managers name (always displayed on the wall of course so of course everyone can know they persons name, and of course no Manager wants to be called at 3am in the morning) that they know him/her and they said they could get a free night/s. Since Auditors are acting managers during their shifts, you can do whatever the hell you want as well. (: so i also have a few stories of customers like that.
Fer fucks sake ARG! Why is your penis so, so Massive? The hanging… the Bulging… why?
I bear my heart to you people… I’m gonna give myself a big penis to compensate. it’s an ego thing.
I’m at the other end of the customer service process, the warehouse/goods pickup guy for an electrical retailer. Ass-faces do not stop being ass-faces once they’ve left the shop. My goodness no. I’ll regale you of some woeful customers if you want. Just say the word…
I think I just noticed you seem to draw yourself with a windsock thing going on with that ridiculously long dick. . . In that shadow thing there and also in the meowth costume. I’m still grinning. 🙂
thanks man, I came here to put a smile on my face and the title alone was enough. 🙂
You’re welcome. Have a great day.
i glad the owner was as chill as you are.
Dick customers are a pain to deal with, but they are significantly easier to deal with when you can blow them off because you have power and they have n solid ground and just act like dicks. (i.e. getting out of paying)
Me too. When you’re obviously trying to get a free birthday party for your kid I’m obviously gonna treat you like an asshole…
Is it just me or do you dress like a girl… a lot?
would you rather me naked?
alert me if you take that plan on your next comics so I open in incognito modus. I’ll let my eyes burn but not my laptops memory.
Is no one else going to mention that your story is about a woman, and the ass-face in the comic has breasts, yet you call it ‘sir’?
just another little dig at her… completely intentional.
Everything about this is good.
I’d hate for it to be bad.
i dont know how you do it but you can make me cry and laugh at the same time, now if you’ll excuse me i have to rinse my eyes one more time with pure alcohol and watch this again
You, sir, are awesome. ARG must also stand for “a real genius” or something.
Assface is slowly turning into ballsface.
It would be a ballsy move, artistically. It might be so lewd, it could drive somebody nuts. One might say it would… TEST his skills as an artist.
Nad of course you’d take it as a challenge. Wait, I meant “and”.
Oh noes not another challenge! Mine ( not an intentional challenge ) was the reason for today’s ass-face! (To learn more read yesterday’s comments)
Plz, I want to hear more bowling alley stories.
MORE BOWLING ALLEY STORIES!!
PS. sailor moon reference there?
Does that mean she was an ass?
First, I love how you still called her “sir.” I’d love to be in a position to be an asshole toward people who deserve it. Unfortunately, not only am i not a manager, but the place I work is franchise, so even my bosses aren’t allowed to be assholes. So stuff like that’s gonna have to be reserved for an I’m-quitting-soon-anyway blaze of glory sort of deal.
Second, you really shouldn’t be so modest about your dick. I’m sure we can all handle knowing how long it REALLY i- oops, my bad, didn’t mean to trip over it.
HA! Sailor3 moon transformation, priceless!
True funny story:
I was working overnights at a 7-11 and I’m alone. We had 4 foot high counters, which were also about 4 feet wide. A guy standing about 4’8″ tried to reach over the counter with a bowie knife saying (in a high-pitched voice) “Open the register.” I’m 6’1″ and had a baseball bat under the counter. The guy’s standing on his tippy-toes just to even get teh knife even near me. I calmly take the bat out and grind the top of the bat into his hand until he lets go of the knife. I toss the knife behind me, and tell the guy to leave the store. 5 minutes later, the guy comes back in, trying to hide behind another customer and asks for the knife back. I almost give it to him, because either the guy has the balls of an elephant, or he’s just that stupid and he made me laugh. I told him to leave again. When the manager comes in a 6am, I tell him about the ‘incident’ and about 5 minutes later, I hear the manager laughling his ass off over the videotape.
hmm, did you spaw a “third leg” during the transformation ? 😀